DİSCRİMİNATİON
There is always events happening around us
that give the sense of underestimating. Looking down on somebody is so easy
that one can hit the other without any reason if the one hitten is weaker than
him. In other words, big fish eats small fish. Do you think the big one thinks
about the living right of the smaller? I do not think so.
In this paragraph, we see a little boy hitten
by their friends just for his nation, not for his rude behaviour or a bad word
that he utters. Just for he is different. He can not understand why these all
happenend and when he tells about everything to his father he just suprise that
his father already accustomed to this situation. But those people have to live
with it because of the absurd custom of being same eats the justice vain of
majoritiy of the society. But I think the father says so nice things such as
not giving up his realities according to others' pleasures or desires. He says
that he should be proud of himself and this is really good because people have
their meanings in the world just for their differentaties. And the point
is to see that and I hope poeple soon recognize it for a peaceful world.
In this vidoe, we see a black man who bring the little girl's baloon and misunderstood by her mother. She supposes that boy stealing the baloon. She behaves without thinking because the man is black and what she sees is just bad things. Now, let think about it. Can you imagine treated like this just because your skin colour is dark? Is our personality up to your skin or your other differences? I think people have to see that in a garden that all colours are same is not as attractive as a garden that includes different colours. That is so classic says those things but as we see, nowadays we tend to ignore classicals because we hear them so much and this means we hear but do not apply what is necessary to do. Hope to see you in a world that bear all differences in a gentle way soon.
****…see a little boy hitten… ==verb incorrectly formed
YanıtlaSil****he utters.Just for he….== fragment
****his father he just…== punctuation
****he just suprise….== spelling
**** why these all happenend…== spelling
**** world just for their differentaties== spelling
**** you in a world that bear == incorrect subject verb agreement
Dear Mizgin :),
Firstly, I can say that I really like your journal. The topic is really good. Unfortunately, these things have been happening for years. Big fish eats small fish as you said. I really like the content of your journal. Also you explained your thoughts about this topic very well. The organization of your paragraph is so good. There are no unrelated things to the topic. Also the video is quiet good. I like it. I am so sorry for this man :(. As you gave examples about the topic, your journal became more attracted. However, there are some mistakes. Firstly, you have to work on spelling. There are many spelling mistakes. I think you wrote this journal quickly.:) Apart from this one, there are some problems about subject-verb agreement, punctuation. I indicated them above. When you correct them, it will be better. All in all, your journal is very good. Congratulations.:) :)